


Home is Where the Heart is

by cometomama66



Category: Jaspar-Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: And enjoy the rollercoaster that is life, But I assure you it's painful, I'm 1D af, M/M, So prepare for an emotional ride, Yes that was a Zayn reference, i don't know what this is, what can i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:37:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9288659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cometomama66/pseuds/cometomama66
Summary: Inspired by something Caspar said in his livestream with Oli.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think in the comments :)

The sun is setting, painting the sea a blood red and leaving the sky smudged over in shades of pink, purple and blue. Joe leans back against his best friend's (naked) chest, laying the wine glass in his hand down on the table. They've just gotten out of the pool after a day of just lounging in the water, because fuck, South Africa's really hot. But now that the night has come, in dark shades and with a soft mist like a fairy dream, he feels slightly cold. Caspar seems to notice because he wraps his ridiculously long arms around Joe's small body and he holds Joe's hands in his own bigger ones. Caspar' arms are soft like summer winds and his fingers are still wrinkled from being in the water for so long and so are his own and Joe smiles, because he missed this. He missed being with the boys, he missed the warm weather but most of all he missed the feeling of Caspar's body pressed against his. It's not something a straight guy would normally think, he knows, but his and Caspar's relationship has always been special. He can't imagine doing this with Josh or Oli or Jack or anyone really. But with Caspar everything is normal, everything is easy. 

"What are you thinking?" Caspar asks and voice is so soft, Joe thinks he can curl up and fall asleep in it. 

He turns and looks up at Caspar, his eyes are the beautiful blue of a lake under the midday sun and as always, Joe doesn't have to speak for Caspar to understand because they had never needed words to communicate; Caspar always knew what he was thinking. Joe expects his face to light up but it doesn't and his heart drops and he shivers a little because the world seems darker without that almost-blinding grin plastered across his best friend's face.

"Caspar what's wrong?" he asks, suddenly doubtful if Caspar interpreted his thoughts wrong. His eyes seem distant, and he's got that expression on his face that he only gets when he's thinking too much.

"Caspar come on, what's wrong? Tell me please," he shakes Caspar's arm and he seems to come back to reality. Joe watches as the emotions flash across his face like the clouds that sweep across London when everyone's asleep. And now there's a single tear in the corner of his eye and as it drops onto his arm, slowly like a feather and his heart drops with it. He's only ever seen Caspar cry once, when his girlfriend broke up with him. That was at the beginning of their relationship, when they had just moved in together and Joe had just told him to shut up and come play FIFA with him. But their relationship has grown so much since then and now Joe's lost. More tears are falling down Caspar's pale cheeks and he doesn't know what to do. 

"Caspar please talk to me. Don't cry, you know I hate when people cry," his tone is almost pleading now, but Caspar doesn't stop. He lets out a loud sob and buries his head in the side of Joe's neck. "I hate living on my own Joe," it comes out muffled but of course Joe understands him and he's confused, so confused, because hadn't they made this decision on their own? Hadn't they both decided they wanted a place for themselves, now that they could afford it? 

"I hate going to sleep without you in the next room and I hate waking up in the middle of the night and having nobody to go to because I had a nightmare and can't go back to sleep. I hate my stupid alarm tone and I hate that I don't have you to come back home to at the end of a long day. I hate it so fucking much Joe, my house is too quiet and I'm so fucking lonely. It isn't even home to me, it never was, it's just a stupid fucking house.'' 

To say Joe is shocked would be an understatement. Of course he'd found himself feeling lonely in his house too. He had been excited to move into his own house but after a few days, and the initial excitement had worn off, he'd found that it was too big for him. His voice would bounce off the walls and make his ears ring and he'd find himself bored beyond belief and missing Caspar and his weird laugh. He'd spent countless nights in his bedroom, wishing that he could go back and live in the past or at least that Caspar would come knock on his door and ask to spend the night at his place. But he'd pushed those feelings and thoughts away, in typical Joe fashion, because he was supposed to be happy. He'd finally got a place of his own and so had Caspar and he was happy so why shouldn't he be? 

And now, out of nowhere, Caspar tells him that he misses him and suddenly he's so happy. He feels all warm and light inside, like a weight he didn't know he had been carrying around had been lifted and he's giggling, maybe it's the wine or maybe it's because of how happy he is. Caspar raises his head and looks at him like he's gone mad and he throws his arms around Caspar because he missed him so much. And he tells Caspar that, tells him how much he missed him and how he just wants to move back in together and how he can't believe Caspar wants it too. Now Caspar's giggling as well and they just stay there for a little while, wrapped in each other's embrace. When they pull away Caspar's eyes are shining brightly, like a pale star in the dark, gloomy night and Joe finally feels like he's home. After all home is where the heart is.


End file.
